


No Going Back

by neeksknocks



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Brief suicidal thoughts, Memories, Regret, lance is briefly mentioned, shiro is mentioned but not present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-12 21:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9091420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neeksknocks/pseuds/neeksknocks
Summary: Keith contemplating his actions and regrets after being just kicked out of the Garrison.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 1 AM last month when i was in a really weird headspace so it may not make a lot of sense, it's kind of a vent fic. originally Lance was gonna come in and be like "wtf why are you on the ledge of a cliff" but i got too into writing contemplative-angsty Keith that i decided not to. i'm not entirely happy with how it came out, but since voltron comes out tomorrow night and it's the first thing i've actually finished writing since July, decided hey, might as well.
> 
> i wrote this to the song [personal by stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKC6GbbVloE)

Keith look down at the ground beneath him. Fifty or more feet below lay soft looking sand and a breathtaking ocean. It looked almost welcoming. As he dangled his feet over the edge, he wondered what it would feel like to fall. If it would be like flying. He never would, of course. Jumping to his death seemed like such a stupid thing to do, especially after he had gotten this far. He hadn’t worked so hard just to throw it all away.

But he had, hadn’t he.

Within the blink of an eye he had thrown everything he worked for down the drain. He had had the warning from Iverson, one more fight and you’re out, but he hadn’t listened. He had just been so angry, he lost control. It hadn’t been on purpose this time. He wasn’t looking for a fight one just kind of came to him. He could almost imagine what Shiro would say if he could see him now.

Shiro.

All the rage came back at once. He couldn’t accept that Shiro was gone, he refused to. Even if no one else believed in the pilot, he had to. Shiro had believed in Keith when no one else had, it was only fair he’d do the same. Keith knew that there had to be more to the story than pilot error, Shiro was more cautious than anyone he had ever known, especially when it came to other people’s safety. Shiro wasn’t naturally gifted, he worked hard to get where he was. No one seemed to understand that, he wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes. But not this mistake. He wouldn’t have. 

If it had been Keith, he could’ve believed it. He knew himself well enough to know that he made mistakes that cost him dearly. He was so used to being good at flying, fighting, everything, that he forgot he could mess up sometimes. Losing control of your aircraft? That was a Keith move, not a Shiro one. 

That didn’t mean that anyone believed him, though. He was just some hotshot who got ahead of himself. Who never knew when it was time to quit. Who threw away his shot at a better life for someone who was probably dead.

The ground suddenly seemed more inviting.

He shook his head, letting out a deep sigh. He should leave, find a place to spend the night. He didn’t know where he could go, the Garrison had been the only real home he’d had for years. Homeless shelters and foster homes were never long lasting. 

He thought about the last time he had stayed at a shelter, the night before he took the entrance exam for the Garrison. It had been nearly three years ago at this point. He had been barely fourteen, hopeful, almost eager. He hadn’t been that excited about something since he was six. He had told everyone in the shelter about it, not in a proud or bragging way, but almost optimistic. Everyone told him not to get too ardent about it, that he would jinx it, but at the time it had been through one ear and out the other. He had only dreamed about actually getting in, never imagining he’d get some of the highest marks on the exam in his soon-to-be class. 

Keith almost smiled at the memory. It was nice, living in the illusion again. As amazing as the Garrison had been, there had always been downsides. While that had been where he met Shiro and it had given him a chance to fly, he was always felt trapped. He wished he could be that fourteen year old again ready to bump into the helpful upperclassman and try out the simulators for the first time. He wanted to relive his first full meal in years, to be able to feel what it was like to make a real friend. He wanted to have his first playful fight with that funny kid from his class. He wanted to go back and tell Shiro not to leave. To stop himself from fighting pointless brawls with people he barely knew for no reason. 

With a final sigh, Keith stood up and walked to his motorcycle. It felt familiar, the low purr of the engine and soft leather of the seat. He inhaled and tasted the bite of the ocean air’s salt and took one last look at the Garrison building in the distance before accelerating.

He wanted to do better than he had.

But it was too late now. No going back.


End file.
